My mother was bipolar and I inherited a capability for huge mood swings from her. In fact, the idea-phoria I used to have lasted for a couple of days and the energy generated during it was so intense that it was painful. With the drug I’m taking now though, the idea-phoria state only lasts for an hour or two, but t’s still very intense and I usually have a headache afterwards.

Here’s the thing about my very ‘up’ states that I’ve come to realize – the ideas I have during them are extremely creative but they are nearly always not doable! So, I’ve learned to not act on any of them until I’m calmer, especially if the idea is about altering a drawing I’ve been working on for a while! That ALWAYS leads to disaster!

So, I send you soothing waves of energy because I know a little about how difficult being bipolar is from my own partial version of it, and from watching my mother’s moods swing from ultra high to deep low over and over again during her lifetime. If ever you find that you can’t balance yourself, please don’t hesitate to try new drugs. The medication I take now doesn’t change my feelings or effect my creativity, it just shortens the intense mood swings and makes them more tolerable. I wish these new drugs were available when my mother was alive. They would have changed her life.

I can certainly identify with cycling from depression to anxiety to OCD and then back again! Egads – what a horrific thing to go through! Thank goodness you found a drug that works. Finding the correct kind can take months and months, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Something has popped into my mind after reading about the kind of art you enjoy making. Have you ever tried sculpture? Drawing is very close to sculpting because it deals directly with form and texture, and indirectly with line and value. Small sculptures seem to sell pretty well from online shops like Etsy.

I think you would benefit if you found a medium or subject that excites you, and then allowing that energy to be your guide. This kind of excitement adds fuel to the creative fire where more possibilities are generated, and they in turn keep the fire fed. It’s a self-generating process if you can just get it started.

Finding that spark of creativity is tough sometimes though, and it sounds like that’s where you’re at. Here are somethings to keep in mind:

1. Look for the medium or subject that gives you the most pleasure to work with.
2. Let the energy created by that pleasure inspire your next step.
3. All artists have to go through this, or at least I know I did, so try to keep it in perspective. It’s another step of the journey and not a brick wall you can’t get around.
4. Persevere. Keep going. Don’t stop moving. That energy is out there somewhere and you’ll find it eventually if you keep looking.

All my best wishes to you,
c